Thursday, November 18, 2010
I sit here this morning with coffee in hand... going through all my friends blogs. Reading about their lives, their relationships with God, with others and with their families. I've read about blessings and hardships... joys and tears. I see deep transparency and light-hearted fun....
.. and I guess it's time to share a little of my space..
The past several days have been a challenge for me. When someone turns out to not be as authenitc as you thought they were,.. it breaks your heart. When you trust because it's what you know to do, and it's just part of your personality.. and then that trust is broken.... the bond (however slight it is) is broken.
It had been mentioned once by a person of the cloth, that this certain someone was "flighty and indecisive... and that they had a lot of irons in the fire.. and they didn't know if they were ever coming or going."
When you find out that that person just is not who they profess to be on the inside.. and when you hear words all the time out of their mouth, but don't see fruit.... Well, I don't need to go on.
I grew up trusting first. I never put up a wall with people upon getting to know them. Life had dealt me good cards and I was used to being able to trust everyone in my family with their word alone.
I'm not used to not trusting people. Yet God has confirmed in me many things that I have felt going on. I choose to forgive, love and be kind.. but I choose to no longer let myself be burned.